Monday, April 30, 2007

Kuwaiti Sickness?

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed how frequently people in Kuwait are coming down with illnesses? I have read about a half a dozen blogs where people are complaining about having the 'flu', which can literally mean any kind of bug or virus in Kuwait, evidently. But my husband, who lived relatively sick-free in the states, has been complaining about being sick on several occasions over the past few months, hmm... It makes me wonder what is going on over there? Could it be the environment? If anyone is out there, please give me your thoughts.

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Grow Up

Even though people grow older on the outside, on the inside we often still feel the same. The sometimes painful eventuality that one day we look in the mirror and do not recognize ourselves is disconcerting to say the least. It kind of forces some people to grow up on the inside too. Maybe that partially explains the ever-upward movement of the age of adulthood in the US: we are looking younger through fitness and plastic surgery; therefore, we need not grow up yet. Where have all the adults gone? Where have all of the parents gone? "What me I am not a just a mother; I am my children's best friend!" What I know, after spending years in the education world, is that the kids don't want parents as best friends. They really do want someone to guide them. It's scary for them on their own. Plus, it looks really stupid for 40 something year olds to be wearing teen clothes, no matter how fit they are. Uck, I sound like a grown up. When did that happen?

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Around the Bend


Sometimes I feel like so much of my life has been about waiting...Almost as if the real thing would be starting soon.
And it doesn't help that I have often escaped to a world that isn't real...You really have to look to find the way back.
So frequent are the times that I find myself wrapped in worry...I don't know what is around the next bend.
I have found that worry leads to waiting...And waiting leads to worry. And what we don't know is often better than what we do.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Hurting our Children

As I was visiting various blogs, I began to mull over what one young blogger flippantly wrote on a comment to me: "Do you ever think about hurting your kids?" Now, I am quite certain that this question was not meant to inspire deep thought, but it was the impetus for this post-an extrapolation from mundanity to broader implications.
The simple answer to that question is, yes, I do think about that. As a mother, I think about that all of the time. First, though, it is important to consider what constitutes hurt. So, if we are defining it, as I suppose was meant, on the most superficial level, as physical hurt, then I have to say that I don't think about that. However, if we take a more expansive view of the word hurt, then I would say that I contemplate 'hurting my kids' every day.
I think about their being hurt by who I allow them to hang out with. I think about their being hurt by what I allow them to watch on T.V. I think about their being hurt by what I allow them to listen to. I think about their being hurt by what they are being fed for nourishment, both physically and spiritually. I think about their being hurt by how I permit them to spend their time.
There are so many ways that a child can be 'hurt' by a parent, physically is the easiest to avoid and probably easiest from which to recover. But judging by what goes on in society today, there are not many people wondering about the indelible damage done to a child from all of the other potentially hurtful facets of life.
Being human is not solely about physical, tangible, sensory experiences of this world, if it were, the job of parent would be much more transparent, obvious. What bears down with such force on our minds and hearts as to influence our morals, desires, and courses of action in life, are the invisible scepters, the societal whisperings which hold sway over the pervasive
fears of a
mother.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Have you ever noticed....

Have you ever noticed:


How most of your friends end up living exactly where they were born and also fall into the same line of work as their parent(s)?

How the friends you had in high school who were the wildest and most uninhibited, end up being 'born again' or something to the same effect?

How you are afraid that some stranger might come and steal your valuables if you leave them unattended while you go for a walk on the beach, but then you ask the person who just happens to be parked next to you to watch them for you, even though; s/he is a complete stranger!?

How some people get their panties in a bunch over not eating organic this and that, and then go out and get obliterated at night?

How Oprah is all spiritual and ready to change the world one minute,
and the next she is gushing over John Travolta's gold bathroom fixtures?


People are strange...myself, of course, included.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

A Mother Can Think Only At Night

Here in the dark, with my 2 month old by my side, talking to angels in his sleep, I have a moment of clarity. Be it brief and ever-fleeting; it is a moment. If you are a mother, or anyone who is ADHD, ADD, bi-polar, etc., you can appreciate the deliciousness of a single moment of clarity.
The problem is that in one moment it is impossible to funnel down all of the disposed thoughts, feelings, and desires, into one crystallized page in my brain that I am able to take in and digest. And so, those thoughts, desires, and feelings are on pulverize in my brain blender until they become the lack-of-focus-smoothie that makes my children have to say, "Mommy, don't you remember...?", and, "Mommy, hurry up...!", and "Mommy, I need..."
Perhaps my artwork is the only way to represent the craziness that is me. It has definitely taken a turn towards distraction and sensory overload: colors, layers, rubbings, tearings, those things all represent me.
I don't even know if it is possible to have that serenity of old. I often have dreams of moving to the country to raise my children away from the whir of modernity, but I feel certain that something would find us and pull us back. After all, it is my dream, and children dream their own.
So maybe there is a way to slow down in this move to Kuwait. A chance to have help with the mundane. A chance to relish family. A chance to sleep in, or stay up without too much penalty. Or it could be that I am just trading in my American smoothie for a Kuwaiti fruit cocktail?

Saturday, April 07, 2007

Please forgive me

I am so sorry to all of you who have been kind enough to reply to my rambling posts. I am new to blogging and didn't realize there were comments for me to moderate. :(
Anyway, I took a hiatus as well because I had my baby! He is great, and my husband came over to the states for a month to be with us. THAT wouldn't happen with a job in the US! I am also planning my imminent move to Kuwait. It promises to be quite emotional.
My daughter is already making plans to return to the states for high school, and my son, well, he just wants to have friends to run around with.
We have applied to ASK and just have to have the children tested to get in. I hope that is not a problem though. It is kind of crazy; my children are going to go to a school I have yet to visit or see!
Another worry now...I have been following the bird flu scare, and so I am wondering...what the heck kind of timing is this move!!! Am I crazy to be packing up 3 children and moving to Kuwait when its neighbors are warring, pollution is skyrocketing, and the bird flu is spreading?
Ok, I know things are not that great in the US either, but then again, we can just escape our problems over here by the 'new fall line-up' or the latest technology or trends.